Confucius stated that a well-ordered family has clearly defined relationships and depends on obedience of the subordinate members. How can that model survive in our highly emancipated and individualized society?

You have identified a clear source of conflict for Chinese families that attempt to pass on their traditions in Western democracies. Westernization erodes these to some extent. Perhaps Westerners can learn from the experience of such families and watch how they attempt to reconcile the rich family tradition with liberal democratic ideals.